On Whatever Happened with the Ex – Mars Retrograde

by cielopop

I left this comment yesterday on Mars Retrograde 2014 by Lynn Koiner

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This 2014 Mars Rx period has me feeling rather paranoid and extremely vulnerable.

It is happening in my 12th house, meeting Saturn 28* and Pluto 26* which are both square my Sun 29* Cancer… when it approaches 13* Mars will be forming a T-square with my natal Moon-Mars opposition. My Moon is Capricorn 11* and Mars is Cancer 15*…

The week before the retrograde, was the week after Valentine’s. My ex-boyfriend from 5-6 years ago returned and, despite my prior decision to just stay friends, I gave in to his charm and plans and re-ignited our relationship. We had irresistible chemistry. He was talking of future plans and how he intended to bring me with him.

Then Mars Rx happened, one week later. I experienced what is possibly a psychosomatic disturbance with my urinary tract. Research indicated it had to do with repressed anger, being “pissed off.” I know it is psychosomatic because of the varying degrees of discomfort experienced in relation to whether I should stay or leave.

I have been wondering why this would be set off all of a sudden, with the reunion. Was it a message from my intuition to stay away from him? …actually, on the first date, before Rx, I found out he has a female roommate. I wanted to end it right then and there, but he insisted she was a lesbian, and that there was nothing going on between them, nothing wrong with it, etc. I wanted to believe him, so I did. But I would change my mind in the next two weeks after observing that his approach changes, he srarted introducing polyamory, got extremely pissed off when I shared my thoughts on “fake polyamorists” (triangulators), got manipulative, could not wait….. basically, little things that suggested he doesn’t truly love me for me.

This guy has Moon conj Saturn in 13* Cancer… the exact degree of the Cardinal Grand Cross coming up this April. This Moon/Saturn sits right on my Moon-Mars opposition. His Moon/Saturn squares his natal Pluto 9* Libra, which also squares his Mars in 2* Capricorn.

I ‘d been wondering if I’m just paranoid, or if he truly is a malignant narcissist, and if i stick around, will something bad be happening. Ultimately I decided the other day that our expectations of intimacy are completely divergent, so i informed him i intended to leave to experience the best of monogamy. I have nothing against his lifestyle choice but I just don’t feel he is approaching it in the right manner, especially as he employs guilting/shaming tactics…

I figured it’s best to stay the hell away from him especially during the Cardinal Cross. He had plans to take me with him on a road trip out of town to check out his project… and it would be around that time. Since I consider myself single now (and he SHOULD consider us broken up), i don’t have to worry about this anymore. Oddly enough, my UTI sensations disappeared as soon as I detached completely from him.

My inquiry is, what else should I be doing this Mars Rx period? I am finally studying about psychological manipulation, and victim-victimizer dynamics. I guess thks is a great time to retreat and reflect on my relationships.


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  1. Lynn Koiner Says:
    Mar 21, 10:41 AM

    CIELOPOP (3-2014):

    1 – Your Sun/Saturn-Pluto are in late degrees of Cardinal signs and they are not being hit right now, although MANY are feeling the stress of the Cardinal Cross aligning now and potent during the 3rd week of April. Your Moon-Mars is another story and it causes the relationship issues in your life to reach a critical peak. Yes, it is good to detach rather than react. Cardinal signs can spike the Cortisol levels and cause a lot of symptoms (just google high Cortisol) – headaches being one of the symptoms and aspirin does not help (personal experience).

    2 – UTI are ruled by Libra and this can be affected, emotionally, by relationship issues. UTIs often come from bacteria that the man has acquired with someone else. Psychologically, your body may be rejecting this man – pay attention.

    Since I am an astrologer and not a psychic, I cannot tell anything about your charts and compatibility but, when a man behaves this way, you cannot put up with this behavior, especially with the Cardinal alignment. It will only make you ill — dump the bum and move on.

    Study is fine but do not let the subject of dysfunctional relationships take up too much of your life. Find something that gives joy to your life and move in that direction.