by cielopop

Some people have been tagging this tv drama, along with humorous allusions to wives’ paranoia that it may have triggered… “Let the theories begin!”… 😀

So I got curious and checked it out. Great material, makes people think.

Anyway, I’ve been wondering, what exactly is a good reason to marry?

I used to want to swear my life to someone. Obviously, it didn’t happen… In 2011 I ended up concluding that… I was in love with a figment of my imagination… and he was the perfect projection screen. He was skilled at being a blank canvas… showing as little of himself as possible…… :/

This must be what falling in love is. There is someone inside you that you fall in love with…. the other live human, he was a mirror….

So since then, I’ve tried to resist “falling in love,” because… it’s an illusion?….. I fell twice, but not deeply enough to lose my will to them….. I seem like a very hard case to crack. High walls, complete with alarm system. And guards…. and dragons.. .

I can’t be in love, I’m not human?

I avoided this topic… for a long time…. until this year… so strange..

I just want to go straight to my conclusion…… after leaving my ex last month… he was a polyamorist… back then I wasn’t sure exactly what I wanted from a relationship but now I do…

Not security. Not romance…. I mean both are awesome and preferable to their absence. Obviously. ….but just because either or both are present, was never enough reason for me to commit…. well I did once, but it failed…

Anyway the point of monogamy is, and I realized this after the very brief reunion with him…. it’s perfect if you have a long-term project that’s bigger than both of you? Sex magic and shared telos was all I came up with back then… the telos,… depending on your soul’s chosen path… could be for personal gain, or collective gain……

For a “marriage” to last… and not perish… the bond has to be eternal…. ETERNAL… not “amazing sublime chemistry emotional compatibility, etc”….

I think I’m looking for something eternal……. too quixotic?

Advertisements