by cielopop

I’m just reading quotes from this guy, Gavin de Becker

“Some parents have taught their small children, “Go to the manager,” but this poses the same problem of identification as with the policeman: That small name tag is several feet above the child’s eye-line. I don’t believe in teaching inflexible rules because it’s not possible to know they’ll apply in all situations. There is one, however, that reliably enhances safety: Teach children that if they are ever lost, Go to a Woman. Why? First, if your child selects a woman, it’s highly unlikely that the woman will be a sexual predator. Next, as Jan’s story illustrates, a woman approached by a lost child asking for help is likely to stop whatever she is doing, commit to that child, and not rest until the child is safe. A man approached by a small child might say, “Head over there to the manager’s desk,” whereas a woman will get involved and stay involved.”
― Gavin de Becker, Protecting the Gift: Keeping Children and Teenagers Safe

Well, there are psychopathic women.
Instead, teach the child to look for anyone, male or female or whatever, who radiates genuine kindness from their eyes.
There has to be a litmus test that can determine psychopathic tendencies within the first minute of encounter, besides intuitive impressions; I want to find it.

“For some parents, as with Jason’s father, the least popular feature of their children is defiance. Yet it is one of the most important for safety. If defiance is always met with discipline and never with discussion, that can handicap a child. The moment the two-year-old defiantly asserts his will for the first time may be cause for celebration, not castigation, for he is building the courage to resist. If your teenage daughter never tests her defiance on you, she may well be unable to use it on a predator.”
― Gavin de Becker, Protecting the Gift: Keeping Children and Teenagers Safe

This is where my parents went wrong, they hogged authority, and didn’t let me speak up; this is why I seem uber-fragile and non-assertive, to the point where people assume it’s alright to push their agendas without my permission, and to my disadvantage. I have just begun to correct it.

“intuition is always right in at least two important ways;
It is always in response to something.
it always has your best interest at heart”
― Gavin de Becker, The Gift of Fear: Survival Signals That Protect Us from Violence

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