mirrors and dreams

Category: Writing

I just have the sweetest luck


So you fear commitment? I’m not going to make you suffer. So stop clinging to me.

“I can’t liiiiive… with or without you…”

So you can’t decide?

Well, I will choose for both of us.

I choose to live without.

“One less problem.”

Starve a sorrow, feed a joy.

I suggest you do the same.

Missed calls on Saturday nights.
No lunch/dinner out.
Ignoring my thoughts/feelings about any topic.
Not being confident enough in our physical chemistry.

I dropped out for these reasons two years ago. This year you haven’t changed, despite your invitation/proposal.

Please just stop confusing me.





This song and video inspired me to write a horror punk song based on military drum beats and calls… as well as the sinister thoughts of demonic minds… 

I wish I had the skills and the talent. But it won’t stop me from writing at least the lyrics. 





The smell of fear

Burning your hips and base of spine
Freezing your thighs so you can’t move
Heaviness in your guts
And you can’t breathe
Shoulders tense and heart skips
A hundred beats at once
Where are you?
Lost in a maze of darkness
Imaginary or real
Inhale and hold your breath
You’re alright,  the nightmare’s far away,
But your heart is burning black
Eyes like deer in headlights
Scapegoat frozen in sight
He had a knife in his car
You saw a rusty shovel the first time
It could’ve been his painting
Or you couldve been his dark art
Preserved sculpture upon his walls
Mortal enemy, falsely beloved
Crowning glory of his mission
Crucifixion of innocence
Sacrifice for fame
For a monster that he conceals
Yet undeniably reveals

Text chat:

Me: “if we do it right, we can touch God.”
Him: “Touch god how?”
Me: “slip into dreamstate and shoot for the stars”

And then silence.

So yes, the question is, I’m wondering what he is thinking. Is he opposed to it? Appalled? Is it against his beliefs? Or has he thought of it before? Surprised?

…. o.O ….


State your command in the absence of love, see if I obey.

Behind your words: a vice, a demon, ambition, other people’s opinions, worldly lies…

Keep going, I will make it very difficult for you. I bring you hell.

I collect whispers

Welcome to rehab planet.

Hi, my name is Samantha, and spirituality is my drug.

The hall is decked with addicts of all kinds. Rage, rape, rake, raid. Oxytocin, adrenaline. Dreams of peace and love.

Here, demons are our savior — the shit they put us through wake us up.

One thousand words stating nothing. One thousand terajoules of emotion invested in fleeting illusion.

Frenzy is not inspiration. Madness is what you get when your fuel is other people’s energies, the news, wealth and lack thereof, hunger, persecution, holes in our hearts, holes in our clothes.

Inspiration is, by the way I’m not your teacher I’m not a professional, YET.

But my guess is, it comes when you sit so still that you begin to hear the breath of God, beyond the static noises from your mind

Empathy. ~ Susan Frybort {Poem} | elephant journal

I just wanted to share this poem, in honor of the often overlooked human heart. ❤

Empathy. ~ Susan Frybort {Poem} | elephant journal.



The following list has been extracted from Vexen Crabtree’s article, “Cult and Ritual Mind Control Tactics in Satanism:”

Methods of Indoctrination

Terminology: Building the Exit Cost 
Power to Command (NLP)
Hugs and Love-Bombing 
Complacency Tactics 
Compliments and Complimentary Tactics 
Incense/candles (hypnotism) 
Singing/chanting/loss of breath 
Good cop/bad cop 
Them and us
Post-trauma gullibility 
Confusion and the voice of reason 
Sensory deprivation 
Flotation tanks 

From the entry “Victim-Victimizer [Game]” on

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Remedy, from AzuritePress, “Attitudes and Responsibilities of Mastery

1. SELF-ACTUALIZATION: Freedom from the “Victim-Victimizer Blame-Game” and willingness to be accountable for all perceivable manifestations as direct projections of intended learning from the personal Consciousness/DNA Template. 

2. SELF-SOVEREIGNTY: Freedom from the need for approval from, or the need to rebel against any form of “external authority” through understanding that you, as a manifestation of the God Spirit, have the ability to create personal freedom without violating the spiritual rights of others and without allowing others to violate your spiritual rights of being.

I was sitting in the dark, waiting for liberation, dressing the wounds in my heart.  I’m ready to go, ready to go, to the edge of what we know, to the end of life, to the space beyond this plane. There is nothing here for me, nothing to enjoy.

And in the night I hear a faint melody, from the distance. Lilting voice filled with peace, singing an angel’s song.

But it is time for me to leave. There is a battle that I must fight; my blood to shed for my people’s salvation. There is nothing here for me. I am alone, unseen, un-precious. I am here not for my enjoyment. Born to have my life taken away, and for me to give it away.

The evening breeze carries with it the longing cries of the flutes, the pensive teardrops from the harp, and the angel’s soothing voice. Spellbinding, sublime. I thank the gods for this one moment of beauty. Last forever, I wish, but it won’t. This evening is the most beautiful, and I will carry this memory with me through the battlefield.