by cielopop

With the benefits of time and distance, I now am able to review with less emotional subjectivity about that crappy reunion with ex

I still don’t want him back… just been completely turned off by his behavior… (he has mars square pluto; moon conjunct saturn square pluto)…..

The main cause for me falling out with him has nothing to do with gender/sexual preferences although he might think it is……. but I am thinking about this tonight.

I have always been clear that I am attracted to Masculine energy —-
The ENERGY beyond the form —- so, I’ve found myself attracted to masculine energy in male physical body, and masculine energy in female physical body.

I’ve found myself attracted to feminine forms under special circumstances. .. often it is aesthetic appreciation, much like how you appreciate anything of beauty… but the same happens with masculine too….

Emotional fascination that carries romantic potential (romantic, not sexual)…. for feminine in female body… I have experienced very rarely, maybe once or twice…. three, max… never actually fantasized or dwelled on it… usually happens with women who embody ethereal energy… I would imagine they’re appealing to all, actually…..

I’m generally not attracted to feminine in female bodies…. but am intrigued by feminine in male bodies (gay attracted to males) — I feel like I’m on their side, we’re sisters,… some of them seem more real persons than the typical female?…. maybe because the average brainwashed female expresses distorted feminine?….

Feminine in male body, expressing as male, attracting females…. they’re very appealing for the romance factor ^_^ probably will be like fairy tales and walking into dream…. I don’t know 🙂 how does this express in males???

….

As for relationships… I have nothing against polyamory although I prefer monogamy. … like, I won’t stop people from pursuing polyamory… I probably will participate in a polyamorous setting if the conditions are right…. however in a marriage, especially if kids are present, I would have to decline it.

Just saying that as, to get out of the relationship quickly, I had cited preference for monogamy….

But really the reason is his obnoxious behavior… which I couldn’t point out to him because I know what he’s like when he’s angry, and I didn’t trust him anymore…. and I don’t want to be dragged into battle… I am asthmatic and hate to waste breath on arguments especially with high probability of futility…… (hate to confess on public blog but he pretty much raped me the last time we met… this is why i had to reveal as cause for my disappearance, only the secondary reason)

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